Monday night, I came home from work feeling very much like a "bad mom". One of my girls had a really bad day and I had to be at work. I couldn't help her. I couldn't drop my work and rush home and hold her in my arms like I wanted to do. The husband assured me that he had everything under control. He handled a couple of things that I think of as "my jobs" before I could ever get home.
Luckily, I married the guy who knows me best. He gave me time to hug my girls and make sure they were "truly" okay, then he loaded me off on a surprise date. We had a chance to talk about our kids, our jobs and our lives while we shopped, had dinner and rode around on a forklift. I came home feeling much better about my mom duties, but I was still stressing about balancing my girls with my job. Driving home, we got the tweet that our schools were closed on Tuesday.
Tuesday morning, the girls were up bright and early begging to get together with their friends. Even though we had about four inches of snow, I agreed to crank up the 4 wheel drive and go pick everyone up to hang out at our house. We picked up the first friend and headed to the grocery store where we loaded up with extra food and snacks. On the way home, we picked up a second friend. Arriving back at the house, the kids helped unload the groceries and the giggles started! They laughed and played (yes, teenagers playing) all afternoon. Occasionally they would head outside and throw some snow at each other, then they were back inside drinking hot chocolate and eating the snacks they'd picked. After several hours, parents had requested that they head home so they could avoid being iced in at our house. I was preparing to take the kids home, when daughter one handed me her phone and said, "Friend's mom needs to talk to you."
Expecting something like, "I'm stuck at work" or "Can child stay longer?" I took the call. The mother asked if I was indeed Daughter's mom and then asked if her child was at my house. I told her yes, I had picked him up just before lunch. She then said to me that her son was in quite a bit of trouble, so he was grounded and wasn't supposed to leave the house. (Seriously, the ONE time I don't verify a playdate with the parents!) I started to apologize, but she kept talking. She asked me to please keep her kid at my house until the cops could get there to arrest him for being "an unruly child". I was mortified and appalled, but I agreed to keep the kid at my place while we waited for the police. The poor kid was very upset. He acknowledged that he knew he wasn't supposed to go anywhere, but he had called Mom to let her know he was on the way home. We fed him, because he was scared they wouldn't feed him in "Juvie". I apologized for having to wait with him and told him that he's always welcome at our house. Sure enough, the police arrived after a little while. I was questioned about why, when and where I'd picked the kid up. I was cautioned to always speak with the parents before bringing a kid over to hang out, in case they were grounded or not allowed to be with my kid. My ID and information were taken and noted. While I was speaking to OfficerH about picking up the kid, the other guy, OfficerL decided to pick at the boy they'd come to get. He started with, "Why are you just sitting there eating and laughing? Don't you realize you're in trouble?" I almost came unglued. I was worried that the officers would think I was nuts, but I had to speak up. "I fed him! He's a little nervous and embarrassed by this whole thing. Remember, he's just 14!" OfficerL bowed up like he was going to say some more, but OfficerH interrupted and defused the situation by asking my girl if she knew her friend was in trouble. She replied that she did now, but not this morning when we picked him up. It was tense and uncomfortable. It wasn't clear whether the daughter and I were in trouble, or if it was just her friend. Hearing from the officer that the kid's mother was the one pushing for him to be carted away in handcuffs and a police car, was beyond distressing! My girls aren't always well behaved. They certainly break my rules on a regular basis, but the cops are our last resort! My sweet daughter cried after her friend was escorted out of our house and into the police cruiser.
A bit later, we left the house to take the remaining friend home. On the way to drop the friend off, we passed an acquaintance of my girls walking on the sidewalk. The girls in the car started talking about him and the fact that his parents had kicked him out of their house that morning. Their conversation went on about how he had been checking with everyone and had not had any luck finding a place. I didn't think much about it, until we passed him again, walking through the misty rain, on our way back to our toasty warm house. I had to pull over and ask if he had a place to stay for the night. He shook his head sadly and told us, "No, I'm just..." Daughter didn't let him finish, she told him to get into the car. We brought him home, where he gratefully warmed up. Hubby and I enjoyed chatting with him. He ate dinner, laughed with my girls and was truly gracious about being with us.
I have no idea about the extent of what he did that made his parents tell him he couldn't live in their home anymore. However, I believe that it's almost evil to tell anyone they have to leave when the President has declared your location to be in a FEDERAL STATE OF EMERGENCY because of the weather! What kind of person does this? What kind of parent does this? We're not talking about a kid who is strung out on drugs or blatantly disrespectful. (I get that the kid is probably really different with his parents, but still.)
Needless to say, I started the week feeling like a crappy mom. After dealing with these other kids, I'm feeling a little better about my parenting skills. Not saying that I'm good because these others are bad, just saying that maybe I make better parenting choices most of the time than I think I do.
No comments:
Post a Comment