Dear teacher...

There are days that I really feel like I know what I'm doing. Some days, not so much! Today was one of those days where I was completely on the ball!

A parent had asked me what her child could do to improve their grade in my classes. I shared with her that Sweet Baby needs to complete the homework and classwork assignments and the grade would start coming up quickly.  Her response last week was to agree wholeheartedly and tell me that we wouldn't have any new missing work.  This morning, I was expecting Sweet Baby to show up for a help session. That didn't happen. Math class rolled around and Sweet Baby informed me that the homework was not finished because there were other activities last night, including homework in other classes and practice and social time with friends. As class ended, Sweet Baby turned in a page with a name and no work. The explanation for the incomplete classwork was that Sweet Baby didn't understand what we were doing. I reminded the child that they were supposed to come in for help, but didn't show, and then I included the reminder that I had been working with other confused people the entire class period and this one hadn't raised a hand ONCE. The bottom lip went out, but the child said nothing. Later, the child showed up for science without  the homework. The same excuse was given. The kid again didn't participate in my class activity, turned in a blank page and was surprised when I wrote a ZERO at the top of it. It's my policy to notify parents when kids don't do their homework. When I sent the message to this mother, I got a reply very quickly.

Believe it or not, it is my fault that Sweet Baby couldn't do their homework. I assigned 6 math problems and a diagram drawing for science. If completed, these assignments should have take less than 30 minutes.  (Really 15, but...) How is it my fault that the child couldn't complete these? Mom explained that I cannot expect a gifted student to do homework in more than one class per night! She also said that the student didn't show up for the help session because mornings aren't "good for them" so the student needs afternoon help sessions... but they are only available to do that on Tuesdays. She told me that her student should have straight A's and she would really appreciate it if I would make sure that happens.

After reading the message from Mom, I am sure that steam was coming out of my ears. I thought of a lot of wonderful, feisty responses, but I really do love my job. I talked to a couple of co-workers about their homework policies and their classwork policies. I walked away from my computer for a while. Finally, I was able to compose an incredible response to this mother. I quoted from the county website. I quoted some experts. Last, but not least, I quoted the syllabus that the mom had signed. It was an amazing response to really put this parent in her place. I read it a second time. Then I deleted it.

I love my job. I love my students. Their parents are frequently a pain in the neck. I deleted the message because it doesn't matter how well I state MY side of the situation. This mother is frustrated with her adolescent. She has to live with the kid. It is much easier to blame me, so I am going to just document what is going on with the kid and suck it up. In a few weeks, the other teachers and I will get together and decide if there needs to be a conference or a meeting. At that point, I might take on Mom, but for today, I was completely on track when I hit that "delete" button!