In Mid-January, I realized that I had a sinus infection. I planned to get to the doctor on a Saturday, but the closest Saturday was crazy busy. Then I planned to go after work, but I had to get kids to different places, and fulfill lots of personal obligations so I didn't get there that week. Then we had snow and work got a little crazy, and I thought maybe I was feeling a little better. By the beginning of February, we had Mom's birthday party keeping us on the run. Then I decided that the awesome sinus medication I was taking at night was really helping me, so I started the "daytime" version too and tried to convince myself I was getting better. Next thing you know, we were snowed in for a week. There was no way I was going to fight the crowd at the doctor's office after that week. I knew too many people were heading there with "real" germs and I didn't want to get any sicker.
Of course, while I was fighting the growing sinus infection, it was time to acknowledge that I needed to talk to someone about the fact that I was having trouble sleeping and I might be overly anxious about everything! Last week, I saw a doctor for that. She put me on something that started working fast. Once I started feeling better mentally, it hit me. I can't function with a sinus infection and the ear infection that comes along with it. Off I went to the clinic because the doctor's office told me that they couldn't see me until Monday. I knew that even though I had postponed getting help for over a month, I couldn't put it off any longer. The guy at the clinic remembered me from last fall. He was shocked that I had not only worked all week, I'd also just finished teaching Saturday school. He said I had no movement in my poor ear drums because of the fluid build up. Super huge sinus infection, lots of pressure and inflammation, double ear infection, head aches and low grade fever earned me two different antibiotics and steroids.
I really want to say I'm all better now. But, I have learned that steroids don't help you sleep! In fact, it's been about five years since I slept this poorly. (Yes, I keep track) But I know that I'll be better soon. Why is it that we forget that it's okay to be healthy, mentally and physically?
Very weird.
Monday, February 24, 2014
Wednesday, February 12, 2014
Snow Days - ugh
On Tuesday morning, I woke up and thought of a lot of things that I should do since I had an extra day off. I made a mental list of these things. Then, I got really frisky and I actually wrote down a list of tasks that needed to be completed. I started on the list by putting in a load of laundry and cleaning the kitchen. Then, the girls needed me to pick up some friends and we needed to go to the grocery store, so I got distracted from my list for a while. I sorted some school work into stacks, but I decided to postpone grading until I had finished the baking. While doing the baking, I decided to clear off the dining room table, which led me to flipping the laundry, which led me to taking out the trash. Not stuff from my to-do list!
After our police officer visit and our unexpected guest, I was pretty much derailed, but I figured I'd work on the list today. I found so many other things to do instead. The good news is I can try the to-do list again tomorrow. But, reality - not going to happen. I think I'm changing it to just waking up tomorrow. That way I can certainly complete some stuff.
After our police officer visit and our unexpected guest, I was pretty much derailed, but I figured I'd work on the list today. I found so many other things to do instead. The good news is I can try the to-do list again tomorrow. But, reality - not going to happen. I think I'm changing it to just waking up tomorrow. That way I can certainly complete some stuff.
Parenting, and how I don't suck at it as much as I sometimes think I do...
Monday night, I came home from work feeling very much like a "bad mom". One of my girls had a really bad day and I had to be at work. I couldn't help her. I couldn't drop my work and rush home and hold her in my arms like I wanted to do. The husband assured me that he had everything under control. He handled a couple of things that I think of as "my jobs" before I could ever get home.
Luckily, I married the guy who knows me best. He gave me time to hug my girls and make sure they were "truly" okay, then he loaded me off on a surprise date. We had a chance to talk about our kids, our jobs and our lives while we shopped, had dinner and rode around on a forklift. I came home feeling much better about my mom duties, but I was still stressing about balancing my girls with my job. Driving home, we got the tweet that our schools were closed on Tuesday.
Tuesday morning, the girls were up bright and early begging to get together with their friends. Even though we had about four inches of snow, I agreed to crank up the 4 wheel drive and go pick everyone up to hang out at our house. We picked up the first friend and headed to the grocery store where we loaded up with extra food and snacks. On the way home, we picked up a second friend. Arriving back at the house, the kids helped unload the groceries and the giggles started! They laughed and played (yes, teenagers playing) all afternoon. Occasionally they would head outside and throw some snow at each other, then they were back inside drinking hot chocolate and eating the snacks they'd picked. After several hours, parents had requested that they head home so they could avoid being iced in at our house. I was preparing to take the kids home, when daughter one handed me her phone and said, "Friend's mom needs to talk to you."
Expecting something like, "I'm stuck at work" or "Can child stay longer?" I took the call. The mother asked if I was indeed Daughter's mom and then asked if her child was at my house. I told her yes, I had picked him up just before lunch. She then said to me that her son was in quite a bit of trouble, so he was grounded and wasn't supposed to leave the house. (Seriously, the ONE time I don't verify a playdate with the parents!) I started to apologize, but she kept talking. She asked me to please keep her kid at my house until the cops could get there to arrest him for being "an unruly child". I was mortified and appalled, but I agreed to keep the kid at my place while we waited for the police. The poor kid was very upset. He acknowledged that he knew he wasn't supposed to go anywhere, but he had called Mom to let her know he was on the way home. We fed him, because he was scared they wouldn't feed him in "Juvie". I apologized for having to wait with him and told him that he's always welcome at our house. Sure enough, the police arrived after a little while. I was questioned about why, when and where I'd picked the kid up. I was cautioned to always speak with the parents before bringing a kid over to hang out, in case they were grounded or not allowed to be with my kid. My ID and information were taken and noted. While I was speaking to OfficerH about picking up the kid, the other guy, OfficerL decided to pick at the boy they'd come to get. He started with, "Why are you just sitting there eating and laughing? Don't you realize you're in trouble?" I almost came unglued. I was worried that the officers would think I was nuts, but I had to speak up. "I fed him! He's a little nervous and embarrassed by this whole thing. Remember, he's just 14!" OfficerL bowed up like he was going to say some more, but OfficerH interrupted and defused the situation by asking my girl if she knew her friend was in trouble. She replied that she did now, but not this morning when we picked him up. It was tense and uncomfortable. It wasn't clear whether the daughter and I were in trouble, or if it was just her friend. Hearing from the officer that the kid's mother was the one pushing for him to be carted away in handcuffs and a police car, was beyond distressing! My girls aren't always well behaved. They certainly break my rules on a regular basis, but the cops are our last resort! My sweet daughter cried after her friend was escorted out of our house and into the police cruiser.
A bit later, we left the house to take the remaining friend home. On the way to drop the friend off, we passed an acquaintance of my girls walking on the sidewalk. The girls in the car started talking about him and the fact that his parents had kicked him out of their house that morning. Their conversation went on about how he had been checking with everyone and had not had any luck finding a place. I didn't think much about it, until we passed him again, walking through the misty rain, on our way back to our toasty warm house. I had to pull over and ask if he had a place to stay for the night. He shook his head sadly and told us, "No, I'm just..." Daughter didn't let him finish, she told him to get into the car. We brought him home, where he gratefully warmed up. Hubby and I enjoyed chatting with him. He ate dinner, laughed with my girls and was truly gracious about being with us.
I have no idea about the extent of what he did that made his parents tell him he couldn't live in their home anymore. However, I believe that it's almost evil to tell anyone they have to leave when the President has declared your location to be in a FEDERAL STATE OF EMERGENCY because of the weather! What kind of person does this? What kind of parent does this? We're not talking about a kid who is strung out on drugs or blatantly disrespectful. (I get that the kid is probably really different with his parents, but still.)
Needless to say, I started the week feeling like a crappy mom. After dealing with these other kids, I'm feeling a little better about my parenting skills. Not saying that I'm good because these others are bad, just saying that maybe I make better parenting choices most of the time than I think I do.
Luckily, I married the guy who knows me best. He gave me time to hug my girls and make sure they were "truly" okay, then he loaded me off on a surprise date. We had a chance to talk about our kids, our jobs and our lives while we shopped, had dinner and rode around on a forklift. I came home feeling much better about my mom duties, but I was still stressing about balancing my girls with my job. Driving home, we got the tweet that our schools were closed on Tuesday.
Tuesday morning, the girls were up bright and early begging to get together with their friends. Even though we had about four inches of snow, I agreed to crank up the 4 wheel drive and go pick everyone up to hang out at our house. We picked up the first friend and headed to the grocery store where we loaded up with extra food and snacks. On the way home, we picked up a second friend. Arriving back at the house, the kids helped unload the groceries and the giggles started! They laughed and played (yes, teenagers playing) all afternoon. Occasionally they would head outside and throw some snow at each other, then they were back inside drinking hot chocolate and eating the snacks they'd picked. After several hours, parents had requested that they head home so they could avoid being iced in at our house. I was preparing to take the kids home, when daughter one handed me her phone and said, "Friend's mom needs to talk to you."
Expecting something like, "I'm stuck at work" or "Can child stay longer?" I took the call. The mother asked if I was indeed Daughter's mom and then asked if her child was at my house. I told her yes, I had picked him up just before lunch. She then said to me that her son was in quite a bit of trouble, so he was grounded and wasn't supposed to leave the house. (Seriously, the ONE time I don't verify a playdate with the parents!) I started to apologize, but she kept talking. She asked me to please keep her kid at my house until the cops could get there to arrest him for being "an unruly child". I was mortified and appalled, but I agreed to keep the kid at my place while we waited for the police. The poor kid was very upset. He acknowledged that he knew he wasn't supposed to go anywhere, but he had called Mom to let her know he was on the way home. We fed him, because he was scared they wouldn't feed him in "Juvie". I apologized for having to wait with him and told him that he's always welcome at our house. Sure enough, the police arrived after a little while. I was questioned about why, when and where I'd picked the kid up. I was cautioned to always speak with the parents before bringing a kid over to hang out, in case they were grounded or not allowed to be with my kid. My ID and information were taken and noted. While I was speaking to OfficerH about picking up the kid, the other guy, OfficerL decided to pick at the boy they'd come to get. He started with, "Why are you just sitting there eating and laughing? Don't you realize you're in trouble?" I almost came unglued. I was worried that the officers would think I was nuts, but I had to speak up. "I fed him! He's a little nervous and embarrassed by this whole thing. Remember, he's just 14!" OfficerL bowed up like he was going to say some more, but OfficerH interrupted and defused the situation by asking my girl if she knew her friend was in trouble. She replied that she did now, but not this morning when we picked him up. It was tense and uncomfortable. It wasn't clear whether the daughter and I were in trouble, or if it was just her friend. Hearing from the officer that the kid's mother was the one pushing for him to be carted away in handcuffs and a police car, was beyond distressing! My girls aren't always well behaved. They certainly break my rules on a regular basis, but the cops are our last resort! My sweet daughter cried after her friend was escorted out of our house and into the police cruiser.
A bit later, we left the house to take the remaining friend home. On the way to drop the friend off, we passed an acquaintance of my girls walking on the sidewalk. The girls in the car started talking about him and the fact that his parents had kicked him out of their house that morning. Their conversation went on about how he had been checking with everyone and had not had any luck finding a place. I didn't think much about it, until we passed him again, walking through the misty rain, on our way back to our toasty warm house. I had to pull over and ask if he had a place to stay for the night. He shook his head sadly and told us, "No, I'm just..." Daughter didn't let him finish, she told him to get into the car. We brought him home, where he gratefully warmed up. Hubby and I enjoyed chatting with him. He ate dinner, laughed with my girls and was truly gracious about being with us.
I have no idea about the extent of what he did that made his parents tell him he couldn't live in their home anymore. However, I believe that it's almost evil to tell anyone they have to leave when the President has declared your location to be in a FEDERAL STATE OF EMERGENCY because of the weather! What kind of person does this? What kind of parent does this? We're not talking about a kid who is strung out on drugs or blatantly disrespectful. (I get that the kid is probably really different with his parents, but still.)
Needless to say, I started the week feeling like a crappy mom. After dealing with these other kids, I'm feeling a little better about my parenting skills. Not saying that I'm good because these others are bad, just saying that maybe I make better parenting choices most of the time than I think I do.
Tuesday, February 4, 2014
Depression and Stress
You know, it doesn't matter if it's happy stress, like a birthday party or Christmas, or if it's less happy stress, like looming deadlines and test data. Stress causes people, like me, with certain types of depression disorders to have some trouble. It's not just, "Oh, I'm a little sad." A little sad means you can have a good cry and you'll start feeling better when the sun comes out. It's not, "I wish I could get a little more sleep to better deal with this situation." I'm pretty sure I could sleep for days and things wouldn't get any better, or any worse for that matter.
I can tell my temper is a little shorter, I'm a little more sensitive in general about most things and way more sensitive about other things, not predictable things, but they are there.
It's not fun when I feel like this. In fact, it sucks. I can't talk to anyone about it. While my friends want to be supportive, there isn't anything they can do to make me feel better. My family is a mixed bag. They aren't aware, don't get it or just don't have time for it. I understand that.
It will get better. I will feel better. It just will take time. I don't like waiting.
I can tell my temper is a little shorter, I'm a little more sensitive in general about most things and way more sensitive about other things, not predictable things, but they are there.
It's not fun when I feel like this. In fact, it sucks. I can't talk to anyone about it. While my friends want to be supportive, there isn't anything they can do to make me feel better. My family is a mixed bag. They aren't aware, don't get it or just don't have time for it. I understand that.
It will get better. I will feel better. It just will take time. I don't like waiting.
Thursday, January 30, 2014
Party on Wayne
It has been cold this week. As mentioned earlier, we've had to have the dogs inside and that just makes it hard to keep the house clean. So, today was a mad scramble to get the house cleaned up, to MY standards since Baby Girl was having her birthday party. The annoyance I felt with the whole process is fodder for another blog entry, suffice it to say, someone was annoyed and someones are going to be in for a shock! After dealing with the aggravation of cleaning the house, we had to go pick up vehicles from oil changes and run the party errands. In the past, we've had to invite Kim Possible over, sludge through snow to pick up Hogwarts and pray that McGonegal and Trelawny made it out of the mountains, and create a cake that featured Spot the Dog. I really wasn't sure what to expect this afternoon, but I was prepared for anything.
My sweet hubby joined us at Hobby Lobby, as unsure of the festivities as I was. Baby Girl grinned and told us she needed some henna tattoo kits. On the way to the henna, she spotted "Silly String". We NEEDED two cans of each color, so into the basket they went. We collected zebra striped plates (pronounced like we're British) and matching napkins. Hubby and I looked at Baby Girl and at each other. She declared that everything else we needed would be found at the grocery store. We did the secret parent high five over a $50 birthday party compared to many in the past and headed to the cars.
Big sister had been invited to a friend's house. Normally, we insist that she be around, but in the interest of no tension, we allowed her to head out. Baby Girl picked her cake, chose some chips and drinks and decided we were finished. I grabbed some ice cream, despite her protests and we headed home to order the pizzas.
After years of extravagant, well attended parties, Baby Girl decided that this year was going to be super low-key. She had a few close friends who showed up at 6:00. The giggles began about 6:10!
Anyone who looked at the list of activities would probably guess we were entertaining 9 year olds, not teenagers. There was more play at this party than I've seen in a long time. The crew laughed at the cartoons they pulled up on the television. They added laser canons to the Silly String battle and cackled through all 10 cans of Silly String. Elaborate henna tattoos were done on hands and arms of every guest, male and female. Sprite and Mr. Pibb were consumed in fancy plastic wine glasses which caused more giggles. They took sparklers into the front yard and took as they chased each other with them.
I have always loved hearing my children laugh. As they get older, their laughter gets more cautious. Tonight was a very special treat, for me. And I think the birthday girl enjoyed herself too!
oops - hit save not publish. Saturday, January 25.
Tuesday, January 21, 2014
Cold outside, Puppies Inside
Five years ago I asked for a "purse dog" to keep me company in the house and while I was driving around doing "mom things"! The girls and I shopped and shopped for this pup. We went to pet stores, adoption centers, humane societies, shelters and any other place that was rumored to have baby dogs. Finally, on a beautiful Sunday at the local PetCo, Baby Girl and I found him. He was adorable. His whole body was just a little bigger than my hands. His head was soft and smelled like puppy. We called Hubby and Sweet Girl to come check him out. Hubby held a little black paw in his hand and asked the Foster dad, "How big do you think he'll get?" Foster said (straightfaced) "No more than 20 pounds." Hubby said, "Sure!" The girls and I were oblivious to his wicked grin as we loved on our new baby.
We had a family meeting to choose a name, Joe. We (the girls and I) shopped carefully for a very great collar and leash set. Pup got a new crate. Outfits were purchased. Everywhere that I went, Joe went too. If it rained, Joe wore his rain coat and little yellow boots. If it was cold, he wore his red sweater. He wore his navy blue blazer with brass buttons when we went to the funeral for my beloved Great Aunt. He sat quietly in the car during the funeral. I knew it would be very confusing to a puppy to see lots of green grass and be unable to play!
The first months raced by and we noticed that Joe was outgrowing his awesome wardrobe. His seat belt wasn't big enough anymore. His collar had no more holes to move the hook into. The vet, who had agreed with the Foster, was surprised that Joe weighed 30 pounds. He was really shocked a little bit later when Joe weighed 45 pounds. By the time Christmas rolled around, Joe didn't have a wardrobe anymore. He had a pretty, extra large, purple collar and a matching leash. His seat belt was the largest that PetCo sold. When he visited the vet, he weighed in at 86.4 pounds!
He finally realized that he was bigger than our other dog, Wymberly, and decided that he wanted to stay outside with her more often than he wanted to stay inside, or go off, with me. I was pretty sad. There went my purse dog... Or so I thought!
When Joe comes inside, he likes to sit in the chair with me. Not on the couch that is designed to hold multiple people, but in the single adult size chair. He also likes to snuggle up close and share my pillow. His very favorite spot is curled up in my lap, all 85+ pounds of him.
The temperatures have dropped below freezing again, so I guess I get to enjoy another night of snuggling with my sweet purse puppy. Since my girls don't like snuggling, I will appreciate my pup who does!
We had a family meeting to choose a name, Joe. We (the girls and I) shopped carefully for a very great collar and leash set. Pup got a new crate. Outfits were purchased. Everywhere that I went, Joe went too. If it rained, Joe wore his rain coat and little yellow boots. If it was cold, he wore his red sweater. He wore his navy blue blazer with brass buttons when we went to the funeral for my beloved Great Aunt. He sat quietly in the car during the funeral. I knew it would be very confusing to a puppy to see lots of green grass and be unable to play!
The first months raced by and we noticed that Joe was outgrowing his awesome wardrobe. His seat belt wasn't big enough anymore. His collar had no more holes to move the hook into. The vet, who had agreed with the Foster, was surprised that Joe weighed 30 pounds. He was really shocked a little bit later when Joe weighed 45 pounds. By the time Christmas rolled around, Joe didn't have a wardrobe anymore. He had a pretty, extra large, purple collar and a matching leash. His seat belt was the largest that PetCo sold. When he visited the vet, he weighed in at 86.4 pounds!
He finally realized that he was bigger than our other dog, Wymberly, and decided that he wanted to stay outside with her more often than he wanted to stay inside, or go off, with me. I was pretty sad. There went my purse dog... Or so I thought!
When Joe comes inside, he likes to sit in the chair with me. Not on the couch that is designed to hold multiple people, but in the single adult size chair. He also likes to snuggle up close and share my pillow. His very favorite spot is curled up in my lap, all 85+ pounds of him.
The temperatures have dropped below freezing again, so I guess I get to enjoy another night of snuggling with my sweet purse puppy. Since my girls don't like snuggling, I will appreciate my pup who does!
Sunday, January 19, 2014
Lazy days Yummy dinners
This morning, I eventually decided to get out of my cozy bed and face the day. Yesterday was pretty awesome, so today had much to live up to in the books. The oldest was already downstairs, so I made my coffee and sat down in the family room with her. I tried to start the conversation a couple of times, but noticed that all my questions got in reply were gentle, delicate snores. I decided this was a perfect opportunity to plan some menus for the week and do some housework. Then, I changed my mind.
I downloaded some books that I've been meaning to read. I caught up on some blogs. I fixed myself a very yummy breakfast. A couple of times, I caught myself thinking about checking my work e-mail or doing some major job around the house. Instead, I concentrated on relaxing. I thought it was the right thing to do. On Friday morning, I heard something on NPR about relaxing. During my students' quiz, an article popped into my inbox about breathing techniques for stress relief. When I was catching up on the blogs I follow, no less than five of them were about mindfulness or stress reduction. Sometimes you get a subtle hint, other times you get smacked upside the head with a crow bar! I can take the hint.
Stress sneaks up on you. And it's not always as easy to shake as taking a hot shower or snuggling with your puppy. It takes some effort. So I started fixing it today. I did things that give me pleasure. I stood up for myself when it was time to be strong. And the plans I made for the week are going to help me be much more relaxed by this time next week!
I downloaded some books that I've been meaning to read. I caught up on some blogs. I fixed myself a very yummy breakfast. A couple of times, I caught myself thinking about checking my work e-mail or doing some major job around the house. Instead, I concentrated on relaxing. I thought it was the right thing to do. On Friday morning, I heard something on NPR about relaxing. During my students' quiz, an article popped into my inbox about breathing techniques for stress relief. When I was catching up on the blogs I follow, no less than five of them were about mindfulness or stress reduction. Sometimes you get a subtle hint, other times you get smacked upside the head with a crow bar! I can take the hint.
Stress sneaks up on you. And it's not always as easy to shake as taking a hot shower or snuggling with your puppy. It takes some effort. So I started fixing it today. I did things that give me pleasure. I stood up for myself when it was time to be strong. And the plans I made for the week are going to help me be much more relaxed by this time next week!
Saturday, January 18, 2014
Time with Treasures
Weeks ago, a friend from my first high school invited me to a birthday party. It was to be a white elephant party on a Saturday afternoon. I thought about whether I should attend, after all I was going to have to drive all the way back to my old neighborhood. After much contemplation, I put in my RSVP that I would be there. As party time got closer, I got pretty excited about seeing my old house, the area where I grew up and catching up with my old pal. Earlier this week, I decided to take my oldest with me to the party so she could share my trip down memory lane.
This morning, I got up and noticed that my hair looked totally incredible. I took it as a sign! You know, when you get together with people who knew you in your prime, you want to look good. I probably changed clothes 10 times, but finally felt like I looked as cute as possible. And my hair - it looked just wonderful! I wrapped my white elephant gift and the package looked beautiful! Even if the gift was weird, it looked great. Finally ready, I announced to the oldest that she was coming with me, expecting push back. She said, "wonderful, can I drive?"
We hopped into the Pearl and headed off to the other side of the city. Listening to her music, we talked about why she liked specific songs. We discussed Kyle leaving Breathe Carolina and that it's probably because David Schmitt is such a tool. Suddenly my sweet girl noticed that we were very near the Gluten Free bakery. "Do you want me to stop?"
We laughed and laughed at the terrible parking job that Sweet Girl did in front of the bakery. The last time we were there she parked badly so we debated if there was some sort of curse on the parking lot. She just said she wanted to get me real close to the door. Into the bakery we headed, I tried almost every sample that they offered. Sweet Girl, who can eat gluten all she wants, tried the samples with me. She advised against the pumpkin bread, praised the cookies and egged me on about the cupcakes. We chatted with the lady about Apple and how Sweet Girl loves Apple stuff.
Our next stop was the Race Trac to get drinks to go with our brownie. Sweet Girl charmed the guy behind the counter so much that he forgot to charge us for her apple juice. We giggled about that in the car as she pulled back into traffic.
As we passed into my old stomping grounds, I started pointing out places to my daughter. She smiled and said, "I know" so many times that I finally asked if she had heard this before. She grinned and said, "oh no Mom. I have never heard that you went to church there."
We got to my friend's party. We could hear sirens in the distance, but neither of us thought anything about that. As we walked into the house, a girl we didn't know asked if we'd parked in the driveway because she didn't want us to block the ambulance. Apparently, an earlier arrival had fallen down the stairs and was injured. Sweet Girl roamed the group with me. We chatted with my friends Dad about cats and dogs. We met a librarian from an alternative school. We talked to a mom and her daughter who was near Sweet Girl's age. After the EMTs left, Sweet Girl patiently let me re-introduce her to my friend. While my friend opened her presents, my baby snuggled into a small chair with me.
Once we left, Sweet Girl seemed really quiet. I wasn't concerned, but I noticed it was different. As we drove around to look at places from my childhood, she started asking me questions. Not just easy questions, tough ones, questions that had complicated, controversial answers. For the entire hour plus ride, she asked me things and we talked about things that were deep and complex.
Home at last, she informed me she had a headache and was heading to bed. I was a little sad that our time together had come to this abrupt end. I decided to take a nap too. When I got to my bedroom, Sweet Girl was snuggling into my bed. As we napped, she reached over several times to touch my arm. After hubby arrived at home, we delivered the other daughter to her sleepover and went to pick up our dinner. As we sat in the car waiting for the our Chinese to be ready, Sweet Girl climbed into the front seat and snuggled with me. Hubby looked over and raised his eyebrows. This was not typical of my girl!
Our evening actually wrapped up as we watched "Sixteen Candles" together. After the day we had, it was a great way to end it. When I woke up this morning, I thought the highlight was going to be seeing an old friend. I am so thrilled with the actual highlight that I got instead.
This morning, I got up and noticed that my hair looked totally incredible. I took it as a sign! You know, when you get together with people who knew you in your prime, you want to look good. I probably changed clothes 10 times, but finally felt like I looked as cute as possible. And my hair - it looked just wonderful! I wrapped my white elephant gift and the package looked beautiful! Even if the gift was weird, it looked great. Finally ready, I announced to the oldest that she was coming with me, expecting push back. She said, "wonderful, can I drive?"
We hopped into the Pearl and headed off to the other side of the city. Listening to her music, we talked about why she liked specific songs. We discussed Kyle leaving Breathe Carolina and that it's probably because David Schmitt is such a tool. Suddenly my sweet girl noticed that we were very near the Gluten Free bakery. "Do you want me to stop?"
We laughed and laughed at the terrible parking job that Sweet Girl did in front of the bakery. The last time we were there she parked badly so we debated if there was some sort of curse on the parking lot. She just said she wanted to get me real close to the door. Into the bakery we headed, I tried almost every sample that they offered. Sweet Girl, who can eat gluten all she wants, tried the samples with me. She advised against the pumpkin bread, praised the cookies and egged me on about the cupcakes. We chatted with the lady about Apple and how Sweet Girl loves Apple stuff.
Our next stop was the Race Trac to get drinks to go with our brownie. Sweet Girl charmed the guy behind the counter so much that he forgot to charge us for her apple juice. We giggled about that in the car as she pulled back into traffic.
As we passed into my old stomping grounds, I started pointing out places to my daughter. She smiled and said, "I know" so many times that I finally asked if she had heard this before. She grinned and said, "oh no Mom. I have never heard that you went to church there."
We got to my friend's party. We could hear sirens in the distance, but neither of us thought anything about that. As we walked into the house, a girl we didn't know asked if we'd parked in the driveway because she didn't want us to block the ambulance. Apparently, an earlier arrival had fallen down the stairs and was injured. Sweet Girl roamed the group with me. We chatted with my friends Dad about cats and dogs. We met a librarian from an alternative school. We talked to a mom and her daughter who was near Sweet Girl's age. After the EMTs left, Sweet Girl patiently let me re-introduce her to my friend. While my friend opened her presents, my baby snuggled into a small chair with me.
Once we left, Sweet Girl seemed really quiet. I wasn't concerned, but I noticed it was different. As we drove around to look at places from my childhood, she started asking me questions. Not just easy questions, tough ones, questions that had complicated, controversial answers. For the entire hour plus ride, she asked me things and we talked about things that were deep and complex.
Home at last, she informed me she had a headache and was heading to bed. I was a little sad that our time together had come to this abrupt end. I decided to take a nap too. When I got to my bedroom, Sweet Girl was snuggling into my bed. As we napped, she reached over several times to touch my arm. After hubby arrived at home, we delivered the other daughter to her sleepover and went to pick up our dinner. As we sat in the car waiting for the our Chinese to be ready, Sweet Girl climbed into the front seat and snuggled with me. Hubby looked over and raised his eyebrows. This was not typical of my girl!
Our evening actually wrapped up as we watched "Sixteen Candles" together. After the day we had, it was a great way to end it. When I woke up this morning, I thought the highlight was going to be seeing an old friend. I am so thrilled with the actual highlight that I got instead.
Friday, January 17, 2014
And that's a wrap...
It's been a long crazy week. For years, I would hang with the kids from Monday until Friday afternoon and then have incredible weekend plans that were ready to start the moment dear hubby arrived home from work. I was always so frustrated that he didn't want to play with us from Friday afternoon until Sunday evening. I don't know why he didn't just tell me that working all day, each week, was exhausting and he just needed to lay around house for a couple of hours.
Okay, even if he had told me (and honestly, he probably did) I wouldn't have listened. I thought playing with the family was the most relaxing thing we could do.
Now, after five days in the classroom, working at least eight hours a day, I understand. I look forward to the most awesome plans I've ever come up with - NOTHING. We sort of help the girls get their Friday chores done, deliver them to their evening destination and head out to dinner. Not a fancy dress up dinner, we prefer someplace dark and quiet that serves us quickly and has cold diet coke. Most weeks, we are back at the house by 10:00 where the real best part of my week happens.
My sweet hubby and I get to hang out together and watch brainless television. Sometimes, we drink coffee, sometimes we drink coke. Always, we enjoy the few hours that we get where we don't have to be anywhere or take care of anyone else.
It's a very well appreciated weekly wrap up that is all ours.
Okay, even if he had told me (and honestly, he probably did) I wouldn't have listened. I thought playing with the family was the most relaxing thing we could do.
Now, after five days in the classroom, working at least eight hours a day, I understand. I look forward to the most awesome plans I've ever come up with - NOTHING. We sort of help the girls get their Friday chores done, deliver them to their evening destination and head out to dinner. Not a fancy dress up dinner, we prefer someplace dark and quiet that serves us quickly and has cold diet coke. Most weeks, we are back at the house by 10:00 where the real best part of my week happens.
My sweet hubby and I get to hang out together and watch brainless television. Sometimes, we drink coffee, sometimes we drink coke. Always, we enjoy the few hours that we get where we don't have to be anywhere or take care of anyone else.
It's a very well appreciated weekly wrap up that is all ours.
Thursday, January 16, 2014
Don't mess with MINE!
A friend of the daughter had the nerve to suggest that "things" my girl does would make me stop loving her. What a damn idiot!
Teenagers do things that make their parents cringe. They make decisions that are less than stellar. My teenagers are pretty typical in those respects. I was a teenager once, we all were. My parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles showed me that nothing my cousins, siblings and I could do would cause them to love us any less. Could we disappoint them? Oh yeah. Did we do some really stupid things? Yes. Did they always love us anyway? Absolutely!
I wrecked my mom's car. She wanted to know if I was okay. She asked that a lot. My dad told me I didn't need to drive anymore, while he hugged me tight.
Photos of my parents when they were young intrigued me. I would look at Mom and Dad's wedding pictures all the time. Mike and Jimmy, the cute brothers up the street, cut through my yard and I decided to go sneak a cigarette with them. I forgot that I'd been sitting on the patio looking at the wedding pictures until after it stopped raining two days later. Mom was mad. She was sad. She lectured me about the evils of tobacco and respecting other people's property. Then she made sure I knew she loved me. Later that summer, when I cried because Mike didn't like me, she told me he was a hoodlum. Even though I had been hanging out with him, she never said I was a hoodlum.
One time my cousin K and I came home from a party without her friend. Her friend lived in another state and was visiting with us. This was in the days before cell phones. We had a curfew, so we abandoned the girl with some boy we didn't know and went home just a little late. We smelled of cigarettes and beer, but we were home sober and safe. My uncle looked at us, called us dumb-asses and loaded us back into the car to go find crazy friend. We weren't grounded or anything - it was our annual visit and the adults just made sure we knew how dumb leaving a friend really was.
My girls are still in their early teens. They have lots of time to do really stupid stuff. I hope they don't. Maybe they will be smarter than their dad and I were. Whether they are or not, I will love them. I will be their mom and try to help them fix the problems they create or discover. Even after they aren't teenagers.
Teenagers do things that make their parents cringe. They make decisions that are less than stellar. My teenagers are pretty typical in those respects. I was a teenager once, we all were. My parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles showed me that nothing my cousins, siblings and I could do would cause them to love us any less. Could we disappoint them? Oh yeah. Did we do some really stupid things? Yes. Did they always love us anyway? Absolutely!
I wrecked my mom's car. She wanted to know if I was okay. She asked that a lot. My dad told me I didn't need to drive anymore, while he hugged me tight.
Photos of my parents when they were young intrigued me. I would look at Mom and Dad's wedding pictures all the time. Mike and Jimmy, the cute brothers up the street, cut through my yard and I decided to go sneak a cigarette with them. I forgot that I'd been sitting on the patio looking at the wedding pictures until after it stopped raining two days later. Mom was mad. She was sad. She lectured me about the evils of tobacco and respecting other people's property. Then she made sure I knew she loved me. Later that summer, when I cried because Mike didn't like me, she told me he was a hoodlum. Even though I had been hanging out with him, she never said I was a hoodlum.
One time my cousin K and I came home from a party without her friend. Her friend lived in another state and was visiting with us. This was in the days before cell phones. We had a curfew, so we abandoned the girl with some boy we didn't know and went home just a little late. We smelled of cigarettes and beer, but we were home sober and safe. My uncle looked at us, called us dumb-asses and loaded us back into the car to go find crazy friend. We weren't grounded or anything - it was our annual visit and the adults just made sure we knew how dumb leaving a friend really was.
My girls are still in their early teens. They have lots of time to do really stupid stuff. I hope they don't. Maybe they will be smarter than their dad and I were. Whether they are or not, I will love them. I will be their mom and try to help them fix the problems they create or discover. Even after they aren't teenagers.
Wednesday, January 15, 2014
Dear teacher...
There are days that I really feel like I know what I'm doing. Some days, not so much! Today was one of those days where I was completely on the ball!
A parent had asked me what her child could do to improve their grade in my classes. I shared with her that Sweet Baby needs to complete the homework and classwork assignments and the grade would start coming up quickly. Her response last week was to agree wholeheartedly and tell me that we wouldn't have any new missing work. This morning, I was expecting Sweet Baby to show up for a help session. That didn't happen. Math class rolled around and Sweet Baby informed me that the homework was not finished because there were other activities last night, including homework in other classes and practice and social time with friends. As class ended, Sweet Baby turned in a page with a name and no work. The explanation for the incomplete classwork was that Sweet Baby didn't understand what we were doing. I reminded the child that they were supposed to come in for help, but didn't show, and then I included the reminder that I had been working with other confused people the entire class period and this one hadn't raised a hand ONCE. The bottom lip went out, but the child said nothing. Later, the child showed up for science without the homework. The same excuse was given. The kid again didn't participate in my class activity, turned in a blank page and was surprised when I wrote a ZERO at the top of it. It's my policy to notify parents when kids don't do their homework. When I sent the message to this mother, I got a reply very quickly.
Believe it or not, it is my fault that Sweet Baby couldn't do their homework. I assigned 6 math problems and a diagram drawing for science. If completed, these assignments should have take less than 30 minutes. (Really 15, but...) How is it my fault that the child couldn't complete these? Mom explained that I cannot expect a gifted student to do homework in more than one class per night! She also said that the student didn't show up for the help session because mornings aren't "good for them" so the student needs afternoon help sessions... but they are only available to do that on Tuesdays. She told me that her student should have straight A's and she would really appreciate it if I would make sure that happens.
After reading the message from Mom, I am sure that steam was coming out of my ears. I thought of a lot of wonderful, feisty responses, but I really do love my job. I talked to a couple of co-workers about their homework policies and their classwork policies. I walked away from my computer for a while. Finally, I was able to compose an incredible response to this mother. I quoted from the county website. I quoted some experts. Last, but not least, I quoted the syllabus that the mom had signed. It was an amazing response to really put this parent in her place. I read it a second time. Then I deleted it.
I love my job. I love my students. Their parents are frequently a pain in the neck. I deleted the message because it doesn't matter how well I state MY side of the situation. This mother is frustrated with her adolescent. She has to live with the kid. It is much easier to blame me, so I am going to just document what is going on with the kid and suck it up. In a few weeks, the other teachers and I will get together and decide if there needs to be a conference or a meeting. At that point, I might take on Mom, but for today, I was completely on track when I hit that "delete" button!
A parent had asked me what her child could do to improve their grade in my classes. I shared with her that Sweet Baby needs to complete the homework and classwork assignments and the grade would start coming up quickly. Her response last week was to agree wholeheartedly and tell me that we wouldn't have any new missing work. This morning, I was expecting Sweet Baby to show up for a help session. That didn't happen. Math class rolled around and Sweet Baby informed me that the homework was not finished because there were other activities last night, including homework in other classes and practice and social time with friends. As class ended, Sweet Baby turned in a page with a name and no work. The explanation for the incomplete classwork was that Sweet Baby didn't understand what we were doing. I reminded the child that they were supposed to come in for help, but didn't show, and then I included the reminder that I had been working with other confused people the entire class period and this one hadn't raised a hand ONCE. The bottom lip went out, but the child said nothing. Later, the child showed up for science without the homework. The same excuse was given. The kid again didn't participate in my class activity, turned in a blank page and was surprised when I wrote a ZERO at the top of it. It's my policy to notify parents when kids don't do their homework. When I sent the message to this mother, I got a reply very quickly.
Believe it or not, it is my fault that Sweet Baby couldn't do their homework. I assigned 6 math problems and a diagram drawing for science. If completed, these assignments should have take less than 30 minutes. (Really 15, but...) How is it my fault that the child couldn't complete these? Mom explained that I cannot expect a gifted student to do homework in more than one class per night! She also said that the student didn't show up for the help session because mornings aren't "good for them" so the student needs afternoon help sessions... but they are only available to do that on Tuesdays. She told me that her student should have straight A's and she would really appreciate it if I would make sure that happens.
After reading the message from Mom, I am sure that steam was coming out of my ears. I thought of a lot of wonderful, feisty responses, but I really do love my job. I talked to a couple of co-workers about their homework policies and their classwork policies. I walked away from my computer for a while. Finally, I was able to compose an incredible response to this mother. I quoted from the county website. I quoted some experts. Last, but not least, I quoted the syllabus that the mom had signed. It was an amazing response to really put this parent in her place. I read it a second time. Then I deleted it.
I love my job. I love my students. Their parents are frequently a pain in the neck. I deleted the message because it doesn't matter how well I state MY side of the situation. This mother is frustrated with her adolescent. She has to live with the kid. It is much easier to blame me, so I am going to just document what is going on with the kid and suck it up. In a few weeks, the other teachers and I will get together and decide if there needs to be a conference or a meeting. At that point, I might take on Mom, but for today, I was completely on track when I hit that "delete" button!
Tuesday, January 14, 2014
If I'm this tired on Tuesday...
I was ready for a nap this morning by about 9:30. When I got home I was really, really ready for just a quick snooze. After I tutored my freshmen, I thought I'd just go to be really early. When I finished helping the daughter with her homework, I was still pretty excited about getting to bed before my "regular" time. Now I have the option to visit with my hubby and watch terrible television or go to bed about 20 minutes early. I thought it would be the right thing to have some quality adult time, but thanks to the appearance of Tom Felton (Draco Malfoy) in a remake of "Planet of the Apes" my decision was redone! I am off to bed. Love my hubby, but this is absolutely a sign telling me to go to sleep!
Monday, January 13, 2014
Teen Television
Today's blog post is short and sweet -
Teen dramas like "The Fosters", "Teen Wolf", "Pretty Little Liars" and the rest are horrible! They're disgusting. They are awful.
There is just not much to recommend these shows. The teenagers are played by actors in their 20's and 30's. Everyone in the shows sleeps with everyone else - and we have to witness so much more than I wanted to see, ever!
Anyway, yuck!
Teen dramas like "The Fosters", "Teen Wolf", "Pretty Little Liars" and the rest are horrible! They're disgusting. They are awful.
There is just not much to recommend these shows. The teenagers are played by actors in their 20's and 30's. Everyone in the shows sleeps with everyone else - and we have to witness so much more than I wanted to see, ever!
Anyway, yuck!
Sunday, January 12, 2014
Hard to Let the Weekend Go
Sundays are pretty idyllic around our house. Mainly because we ignore anything that interferes with them being that way!
Woke up to sunshine and smiles - younger daughter wanted to go out to brunch as an early birthday celebration! The two of us laughed through a very yummy meal at her favorite restaurant, while the older was with friends and the hubby tried to sleep off the cold he's got. Our conversations were meaningful, not deep really, but we got to talk about some things that mattered. No one was in trouble, or angry or upset - it was great! I think we might even have planned a birthday party!
Finished grading papers while hubby fixed my brakes so that I could take younger and a friend to Little Five. Once again, we laughed and chatted without any drama. The friend has not been exposed to a whole lot of life outside of his neighborhood. We had to kindly remind him that EVERYONE is okay in Little Five. He pointed and giggled, and was amazed at some of the people we saw and spoke to on the streets. It was fun. At no point was anyone mean or malicious, just surprised. In addition to the incredible people watching, we introduced the kid to King of Pops. He was astonished that such deliciousness was available in our neck of the woods twice a week Spring through Fall!
I occasionally worry that I haven't exposed my girls to enough positive culture. Days like this remind me that I have made sure to show my girls all kinds of places and people, so that while they may not have seen 'everything' they know that they haven't seen everything. They are always curious about new things, but they aren't particularly judgmental or rude as they see them.
We wrapped up the night watching Robert Downey Jr. and almost fat Val Kilmer in "Kiss, Kiss, Bang, Bang". What a totally crazy movie, but that's reflection for another blog!
Woke up to sunshine and smiles - younger daughter wanted to go out to brunch as an early birthday celebration! The two of us laughed through a very yummy meal at her favorite restaurant, while the older was with friends and the hubby tried to sleep off the cold he's got. Our conversations were meaningful, not deep really, but we got to talk about some things that mattered. No one was in trouble, or angry or upset - it was great! I think we might even have planned a birthday party!
Finished grading papers while hubby fixed my brakes so that I could take younger and a friend to Little Five. Once again, we laughed and chatted without any drama. The friend has not been exposed to a whole lot of life outside of his neighborhood. We had to kindly remind him that EVERYONE is okay in Little Five. He pointed and giggled, and was amazed at some of the people we saw and spoke to on the streets. It was fun. At no point was anyone mean or malicious, just surprised. In addition to the incredible people watching, we introduced the kid to King of Pops. He was astonished that such deliciousness was available in our neck of the woods twice a week Spring through Fall!
I occasionally worry that I haven't exposed my girls to enough positive culture. Days like this remind me that I have made sure to show my girls all kinds of places and people, so that while they may not have seen 'everything' they know that they haven't seen everything. They are always curious about new things, but they aren't particularly judgmental or rude as they see them.
We wrapped up the night watching Robert Downey Jr. and almost fat Val Kilmer in "Kiss, Kiss, Bang, Bang". What a totally crazy movie, but that's reflection for another blog!
Saturday, January 11, 2014
Let it Go...
One of my favorite songs, by one of my favorite bands... "Let It Go" by Cowboy Mouth
One of the hubby's favorite things to say..."let it go"
One of my mantra's in the work place..."let it go"
Possibly one of the hardest things for me to actually put into practice at home..."let it go"!
I want to let it slide away. I want to not be hurt by it, but that's why it is so hard. I can let go of the things that annoy me. I can ignore the messy house, the unfolded laundry, the television show that shouldn't be viewed that plays constantly. Those things can slide because they really don't matter. It is different when something hurts me.
If I show you how much I love you and you ignore me, it's hard to let go. When I want to help and you push me away. The times I see that you are hurting and I want to hug you. When you are happy and I want to be happy with you, but you shoot me down. I can't seem to let those times go. I want to. I need to.
Apparently, this is a pretty big theme in the world outside of my house, too. I think I will put this song on repeat to help me...
One of the hubby's favorite things to say..."let it go"
One of my mantra's in the work place..."let it go"
Possibly one of the hardest things for me to actually put into practice at home..."let it go"!
I want to let it slide away. I want to not be hurt by it, but that's why it is so hard. I can let go of the things that annoy me. I can ignore the messy house, the unfolded laundry, the television show that shouldn't be viewed that plays constantly. Those things can slide because they really don't matter. It is different when something hurts me.
If I show you how much I love you and you ignore me, it's hard to let go. When I want to help and you push me away. The times I see that you are hurting and I want to hug you. When you are happy and I want to be happy with you, but you shoot me down. I can't seem to let those times go. I want to. I need to.
Apparently, this is a pretty big theme in the world outside of my house, too. I think I will put this song on repeat to help me...
"It's time to see what I can do
To test the limits and break through
No right, no wrong, no rules for me,
I'm free!
To test the limits and break through
No right, no wrong, no rules for me,
I'm free!
Let it go, let it go
I am one with the wind and sky
Let it go, let it go
You'll never see me cry
Here I stand
And here I'll stay
Let the storm rage on"
I am one with the wind and sky
Let it go, let it go
You'll never see me cry
Here I stand
And here I'll stay
Let the storm rage on"
Friday, January 10, 2014
Whew!
It's been one of "those" days to wrap up one of "those" weeks! I guess going back to work after two weeks off is why it's been so tough, but the fact that we haven't seen any warm sun is adding to it.
I'm going to relish the rain tonight, though. I am going to fall asleep, listening to the rain on the roof, the soft giggles of my girls in their rooms and hubby chatting to the cat. I am going to appreciate that we are all here in one place and life is good.
I'm going to relish the rain tonight, though. I am going to fall asleep, listening to the rain on the roof, the soft giggles of my girls in their rooms and hubby chatting to the cat. I am going to appreciate that we are all here in one place and life is good.
Thursday, January 9, 2014
Truth or Fair
"Teenagers are horrible. Teenagers are dishonest. They steal. They smoke. They drink. They sneak around."
Parents of teenagers hear this all the time. Some parents hear it about "those kids". Some hear it on the news. I am fortunate to hear it from some helpful people about MY kids. This is very funny to me, since my kids don't get away with a whole lot.
Now, when I say they don't get away with a whole lot, that doesn't mean that either of them don't try! I mean the hubby and I are as aware as two parents can be without keeping the girls in our pockets. Have my kids broken some rules? Oh yeah! They have absolutely crossed the lines multiple times, but that is an essential part of growing up.
It especially seems to be awful if you listen to some of the people around me. One mother won't let her daughter hang with mine, because she saw a teenager smoking on our street. Not that my kid or her kid were smoking, just a teenager who lives down the street was smoking near our house when she came to pick up her daughter. Someone called my daughter and asked why she was in the back of a cop car. She wasn't, but boy, did that rumor fly fast. A 'friend' called to tell me she was pretty sure my daughter was smoking pot with a boy from school 'right then'. The daughter she's referring to was sitting next to me on the couch watching classic funny movies at that moment. A girl from school deliberately trashed one of my girls to everyone who would listen and despite the fact that it was all lies, we're still dealing with repercussions months later.
Parents of teenagers hear this all the time. Some parents hear it about "those kids". Some hear it on the news. I am fortunate to hear it from some helpful people about MY kids. This is very funny to me, since my kids don't get away with a whole lot.
Now, when I say they don't get away with a whole lot, that doesn't mean that either of them don't try! I mean the hubby and I are as aware as two parents can be without keeping the girls in our pockets. Have my kids broken some rules? Oh yeah! They have absolutely crossed the lines multiple times, but that is an essential part of growing up.
It especially seems to be awful if you listen to some of the people around me. One mother won't let her daughter hang with mine, because she saw a teenager smoking on our street. Not that my kid or her kid were smoking, just a teenager who lives down the street was smoking near our house when she came to pick up her daughter. Someone called my daughter and asked why she was in the back of a cop car. She wasn't, but boy, did that rumor fly fast. A 'friend' called to tell me she was pretty sure my daughter was smoking pot with a boy from school 'right then'. The daughter she's referring to was sitting next to me on the couch watching classic funny movies at that moment. A girl from school deliberately trashed one of my girls to everyone who would listen and despite the fact that it was all lies, we're still dealing with repercussions months later.
The important thing to me is to keep the lines of communication open between my girls and Hubby and me. They know that we love them, no matter what. If they do something dumb, we love them. If they do something naughty, we love them. If they make a mistake, we love them. Are they going to have consequences? Yes, we love them. The consequences we dole out are not the same as what my parents would have given. Most of the time, the girls end up telling on themselves. Plenty of times, we already know something has occurred. But, when we "bust" them, they know that the consequences are going to be fair. That ends up meaning that we have much better ideas of what our girls are doing than some parents.
We don't always know everything, but I am happy to know that we are doing a pretty decent job. Because, MY teenagers are awesome. They are sweet. They are kind. They are good. And when they grow up, they are going to be even more amazing!
Wednesday, January 8, 2014
Back to the Real World
It was cold this morning when I headed out to work. I realize that people who live in Wisconsin deal with temperatures below freezing all the time. I don't live in Wisconsin! I am in Georgia. We stay home when it's really cold, except today. Today I went to work in the cold.
I spent the winter break planning cool math and science lessons. First math class went great - the kids liked the new POPS activity. They were getting into finding the vocabulary words and debating the best examples of them. Then we got my second math class started. Fifteen minutes into it, the power went out. The kids were so excited because they thought they were going to go home. Hey, they are 12 - they love to dream big! We tried to go over the POPS stuff, but they couldn't see the papers well enough in the dark. I was determined to use my cool lesson stuff! I fired up the flashlight app on my tablet and the flashlight app on my phone, perched them around the room and used my laptop to light up the last dim area. Suddenly, the POPS were getting done and the vocabulary was being zipped through! The kids were loving the lessons, but... It wasn't my awesome planning, it was working with no power! As soon as the lights came back on, they couldn't work anymore. It was pretty neat!
The science activities are going into effect tonight. The kids are doing a flipped activity with a quiz. I checked the progress a few minutes ago. Already 50% of my students have done their homework! That is pretty fantastic.
So, I am cold still. And everyone in my house is claiming to be sick. But I am feeling really kick-ass! Very great day, excellent avoidance of stress on my behalf!
Tuesday, January 7, 2014
Drama...or Life with a Suburban Teen
If you read through my daughters' Twitter feeds, Tumblr blogs, Instagram accounts or other social media, it is quickly obvious that they are abused, suicidal, violent, trampy stoners. My post of "Finally warming up with a hot chocolate from Starbuck's and time with my girls" has a corresponding post that reads, "God, Starbucks sucks. All these people are in here acting so stupid. Just wanna die". The picture a girlfriend posts of her sweet children in matching Christmas sweaters goes up right behind my kid's post of a unicorn smoking a giant joint. My tweet about, "Shopping and lunch with my girls - Yahoo" goes up at the same time a girl tweets "I hate the mall. Gonna have to barf up this lunch to fit into my jeans". There just aren't many cheery posts from the teens. Sounds dismal, right?
I thought it was just my girls, but if you scan through social media, it seems to be the majority of young teens. Being happy and having a good life is not cool enough to get you any followers, which somehow gets tied into your friends. It isn't okay to like your parents, be content with your stuff or think you look nice. It is fine though to be confused, think you're fat, be depressed or desire some sort of mistreatment.
Turns out, right now it is cool to be 'bad' in media, but not necessarily bad in real life. I am not really okay with that. I'd really like the girls to avoid the negative references that they seem to obsess over, but I haven't found the solution.
I am not stupid either. Since I know they've got friends who actually do behave badly, my girls know they will be randomly drug tested, stalked by Mom and Dad, and chaperoned most of the time. However, the fact is I have good kids. They are smart, beautiful girls who will one day appreciate those qualities in themselves. In the mean time, I've got to try and figure out what they really need help with and take some action. Being a mom is hard.
Monday, January 6, 2014
Polar Vortex Dancing
It is a sure thing that I won't be doing another frozen dance tomorrow. I may be getting more familiar with the new insurance plan. All I did today was dance and hang out in my house, but my left foot is purple, puffy and hurts like crazy.
How the hell did I possibly break my dang foot and not notice it until it turned these crazy colors?
How the hell did I possibly break my dang foot and not notice it until it turned these crazy colors?
The Polar Vortex of Procrastination
I woke up today to sunny skies and snow flurries. My reward for 80 extra math hours was not having to rise with the alarm clock and head to work. Still, the eyes popped open at 8:00 and that was all the sleep I was having. My sweet puppies had been outside for an hour and they were ready to come back inside. My daughters were a mixed batch. One was up and raring to go, the other slept through lunch time. When I let the pups inside, I made the decision that there was no way I was going outside in the frigid temperatures that had arrived while I was sleeping. I made a lovely pot of coffee, wrapped up in my robe and got comfortable in the family room with puppies at my feet.
I fired up the computer and started working on some cool lesson plans. Thankful that I've taught this science unit before, I found some great new videos to supplement the things I've already got planned. I built some Google docs to go with my flipped lessons. I updated my science class calendars. I read through some math blogs, picked some supplemental sheets and updated the math calendars. I got up to refill my coffee cup and realized it was only 9:00. That kind of productivity is awesome when it happens. You can't force it, you can only appreciate it!
My next mission was to get our prescriptions all in order. The new insurance is okay, just really difficult to follow. It took much longer to deal with getting decent pricing for four of our 'maintenance' medications than it took to make a month's worth of lesson plans. While the insurance company is almost no help, the pharmaceutical companies really want you to use their products so they are more than willing to help sift through the insurance plan details and get you an affordable price on their medication.
It was only lunch time and I had already tackled the biggest items on my to-do list. That meant I had to start on the smaller things. I got the laundry started. I loaded the dishwasher. I put some laundry away. I ate lunch. I cleaned up the lunch mess. By the way, none of these items were on my list. I was in full on stall mode. Some of the small items were not things that other people would have been dreading, but I was.
First on the list, my fifteen minutes of daily cardio. Have I mentioned that we had a high today of 20ish degrees? No way was I going to head outside to walk, jog or do any other exercise. I didn't want to head to the gym, so I put on my sneakers and some loud music, set the timer and danced. I am certain that I didn't do as well as a Zumba class, but I got my time done and put the check mark on the list.
Second on the list, call my grandmother. I know, how could this be that bad? I have only spoken to my grandmother once in the last year. She's 93 and sometimes she's sharp as a tack, while other times she forgets to do simple things like answer her phone. I dread trying to call her because I am always afraid that she won't answer. I only have her left and I have this stupid superstition that as long as I don't mess up our status quo, she will still be there - safe and sound. I called and she didn't answer. I want to say that task is complete, but the reality is that I still have to call back. Maybe I will do that tomorrow, when we get to stay home again thanks to the "Polar Vortex" and these crazy cold temps.
Maybe I will get some other crazy awesome stuff done while I avoid that phone call!
I fired up the computer and started working on some cool lesson plans. Thankful that I've taught this science unit before, I found some great new videos to supplement the things I've already got planned. I built some Google docs to go with my flipped lessons. I updated my science class calendars. I read through some math blogs, picked some supplemental sheets and updated the math calendars. I got up to refill my coffee cup and realized it was only 9:00. That kind of productivity is awesome when it happens. You can't force it, you can only appreciate it!
My next mission was to get our prescriptions all in order. The new insurance is okay, just really difficult to follow. It took much longer to deal with getting decent pricing for four of our 'maintenance' medications than it took to make a month's worth of lesson plans. While the insurance company is almost no help, the pharmaceutical companies really want you to use their products so they are more than willing to help sift through the insurance plan details and get you an affordable price on their medication.
It was only lunch time and I had already tackled the biggest items on my to-do list. That meant I had to start on the smaller things. I got the laundry started. I loaded the dishwasher. I put some laundry away. I ate lunch. I cleaned up the lunch mess. By the way, none of these items were on my list. I was in full on stall mode. Some of the small items were not things that other people would have been dreading, but I was.
First on the list, my fifteen minutes of daily cardio. Have I mentioned that we had a high today of 20ish degrees? No way was I going to head outside to walk, jog or do any other exercise. I didn't want to head to the gym, so I put on my sneakers and some loud music, set the timer and danced. I am certain that I didn't do as well as a Zumba class, but I got my time done and put the check mark on the list.
Second on the list, call my grandmother. I know, how could this be that bad? I have only spoken to my grandmother once in the last year. She's 93 and sometimes she's sharp as a tack, while other times she forgets to do simple things like answer her phone. I dread trying to call her because I am always afraid that she won't answer. I only have her left and I have this stupid superstition that as long as I don't mess up our status quo, she will still be there - safe and sound. I called and she didn't answer. I want to say that task is complete, but the reality is that I still have to call back. Maybe I will do that tomorrow, when we get to stay home again thanks to the "Polar Vortex" and these crazy cold temps.
Maybe I will get some other crazy awesome stuff done while I avoid that phone call!
Sunday, January 5, 2014
Weather Report says...
Facebook and Twitter are buzzing with people who are worried about the weather report. I know that we have ridiculously advanced technology to predict the weather, but it is my opinion that the weather man is perpetually an idiot. I am absolutely over planning my week based on their predictions.
Because I am supposed to go back to work tomorrow, I went ahead and did my weekly grocery shopping. There were ladies buying four gallons of milk, just in case. There were people with three packages of toilet paper, you know, the big multi-packs, just in case. If you wanted bread, you were going to have to settle for the store brand because the good stuff was sold out. The lines were all four and five people deep, all because the weather forecast calls for potential freezing rain on Monday.
Yesterday, the reports said we would start having rain this afternoon. The pups were outside playing all day. They have wet paws from earlier rain, but not wet fur. So, no rain so far today. Also, not really sure how it's going to freeze since it's still 42 degrees outside.
I will be pleasantly surprised if we get the freezing weather and will stay snuggled in the house all day quite happily. As a realist, I'm still going to set the alarm and then check the weather the most reliable way I know. I'll be looking out the windows!
Because I am supposed to go back to work tomorrow, I went ahead and did my weekly grocery shopping. There were ladies buying four gallons of milk, just in case. There were people with three packages of toilet paper, you know, the big multi-packs, just in case. If you wanted bread, you were going to have to settle for the store brand because the good stuff was sold out. The lines were all four and five people deep, all because the weather forecast calls for potential freezing rain on Monday.
Yesterday, the reports said we would start having rain this afternoon. The pups were outside playing all day. They have wet paws from earlier rain, but not wet fur. So, no rain so far today. Also, not really sure how it's going to freeze since it's still 42 degrees outside.
I will be pleasantly surprised if we get the freezing weather and will stay snuggled in the house all day quite happily. As a realist, I'm still going to set the alarm and then check the weather the most reliable way I know. I'll be looking out the windows!
Friday, January 3, 2014
Everyone Needs a Little...Therapy
Started my day off right, meeting two girl friends for brunch. We don't get to see each other and visit nearly as much as we used to now that we work and have teenagers. There are details of our lives that we don't know anymore, but that doesn't make our time together any less wonderful. I sat in that booth this morning with my ladies and analyzed our lives, husbands and children. After two hours, we left and I know that I felt an amazing peace. Did we actually solve any problems? No, not really. Did we cure any ills? Probably not. But we reminded each other that none of us are alone. We might not have time to do a weekly lunch meeting, or even a monthly dinner get together. Our hearts are always close though, whether we see each other or not, and that is the treasure of friends.
Thursday, January 2, 2014
It's So Easy to Find the Stress!
I just don't want to be stressed out this year. Okay, I don't know anyone who wakes up and says, "I'd really like to be stressed out right now." Over the last few years, I've been able to identify lots of things that cause stress for me, that I can sort of control. I like things planned out (I plan my spontaneous time). I like to know where my family is at all times. I like to know how much things will cost, what will I need, where am I going. I like my plans to go "as planned". I like to be on time. I prefer that YOU are also on time, early is okay, late makes my pulse race. I do not like when people stand too close to me. I am not a fan of "foolishness" as my friend Gwen says. (It does sound much nicer than stupid idiots!) There are lots of other things too, but I understand that I can't change the people around me, I can only change my reaction to them. I really want to work hard at that this year because it keeps me healthier and obviously, happier!
With that as background, I got up this morning to head to my endocrinologist appointment that I made months ago. I had an early appointment so that the doctor wouldn't be running late. New insurance went into effect yesterday, so I needed to find out what was covered and how much I would be paying. Hours on the computer yesterday had not really enlightened me on the costs that would accompany my visit, so I called the insurance company.
"No ma'am. Seeing the endo..., um, ...specialist is a office visit, not a maintenance appointment. I know what our website says, but it is wrong."
"Well, I can't tell you what they are going to charge you for this appointment. But, they aren't allowed to charge any more than our contracted price."
"No, I don't know what the contracted price is. I don't have that information, yet. Maybe I will have it next week, but you can just ask the doctor. They'll be able to tell you."
That went well. I already had a pretty decent idea that the doctor's office would be able to tell me how much it would cost, but it is a little alarming that the insurance company doesn't have the information. I took a really deep breath and decided it just didn't matter. I can't change that lady. Screaming at her, getting her supervisor, nope, not going to help. The deep breath wasn't really working, so I rolled the window down. Cold rain and fresh air made all the difference. By the time I got to the doctor's office, my blood pressure was back down to normal. I know, they checked!
Back home, I calmly relayed to the girls that they were not going anywhere or having anyone over until they had their rooms clean. (To MY standards) This was a big one, it shouldn't be, but it was. My girls are notoriously rebellious over foolish things. However, when the question came about the movie and my answer was, "Nothing, until the rooms are clean." They seemed to acknowledge that I was serious. One got very busy, while the other got into the shower. While they did that, I tinkered with the Christmas ornaments.
Off to the dentist for the mess mouth. We just found this dentist last week, but oh what a find! Julie, the office manager, really gets me! She gives me a detailed breakdown of our costs as soon as she is able. If she can do it before the appointment, she does. If not, she does it as quickly as possible, so I don't have to deal with those sorts of surprises. Happily, we left the appointment with a cost breakdown for our next four appointments and only a short list of procedures that has to happen soon. By finding an office that works so well with me, a potential HUGE stress pit was totally fine! How fantastic!
I know, only two days in to the year, but this is what I need. I am not going to keep every day this low on the stress meter, but every time I can keep the levels down, it is a winning day for me!
With that as background, I got up this morning to head to my endocrinologist appointment that I made months ago. I had an early appointment so that the doctor wouldn't be running late. New insurance went into effect yesterday, so I needed to find out what was covered and how much I would be paying. Hours on the computer yesterday had not really enlightened me on the costs that would accompany my visit, so I called the insurance company.
"No ma'am. Seeing the endo..., um, ...specialist is a office visit, not a maintenance appointment. I know what our website says, but it is wrong."
"Well, I can't tell you what they are going to charge you for this appointment. But, they aren't allowed to charge any more than our contracted price."
"No, I don't know what the contracted price is. I don't have that information, yet. Maybe I will have it next week, but you can just ask the doctor. They'll be able to tell you."
That went well. I already had a pretty decent idea that the doctor's office would be able to tell me how much it would cost, but it is a little alarming that the insurance company doesn't have the information. I took a really deep breath and decided it just didn't matter. I can't change that lady. Screaming at her, getting her supervisor, nope, not going to help. The deep breath wasn't really working, so I rolled the window down. Cold rain and fresh air made all the difference. By the time I got to the doctor's office, my blood pressure was back down to normal. I know, they checked!
Back home, I calmly relayed to the girls that they were not going anywhere or having anyone over until they had their rooms clean. (To MY standards) This was a big one, it shouldn't be, but it was. My girls are notoriously rebellious over foolish things. However, when the question came about the movie and my answer was, "Nothing, until the rooms are clean." They seemed to acknowledge that I was serious. One got very busy, while the other got into the shower. While they did that, I tinkered with the Christmas ornaments.
Off to the dentist for the mess mouth. We just found this dentist last week, but oh what a find! Julie, the office manager, really gets me! She gives me a detailed breakdown of our costs as soon as she is able. If she can do it before the appointment, she does. If not, she does it as quickly as possible, so I don't have to deal with those sorts of surprises. Happily, we left the appointment with a cost breakdown for our next four appointments and only a short list of procedures that has to happen soon. By finding an office that works so well with me, a potential HUGE stress pit was totally fine! How fantastic!
I know, only two days in to the year, but this is what I need. I am not going to keep every day this low on the stress meter, but every time I can keep the levels down, it is a winning day for me!
Wednesday, January 1, 2014
This New Year's Day is a first - well, obviously, it is the first of January, but for me it is the first New Year's Day in ages that I am approaching differently.
Normally, I wake up and rush around to get my weight and measurements so that I can get started on a new diet and exercise regimen...tomorrow. Later in the day, I tell my friends and family about my resolutions for the year, refusing to acknowledge that you really can't successfully change 900 things about yourself all at the same time. Within a week, I will have abandoned most of the resolutions and either abandoned or changed the new diet. It's not really a very positive cycle to start a new year.
Rather than continue the cycle that doesn't work, I've decided to do things in a fresh manner this year. Over the last month, I have spent lots of time reflecting about my life, my very good life. The areas that I want to improve are the same areas I've been working on for a while. Why in the world would I want to abandon those efforts and "start all over"?
So on that note, I started today the way I want to continue the year. I did my very best to focus on positive aspects of everything that happened, rather than fixating on the things that were not as pleasant. Obviously, today it was pretty easy to do that. Everyone around me is working on their resolutions, or sleeping off their New Year's Eve celebrations so I didn't have too many distractions from my good vibes.
I cleaned my kitchen. I wiped off a couple of cabinets and decided that I will pick one day in the next month to really clean the kitchen. Not going to assign that to the girls, I will do it myself, and be satisfied with the finished product. I walked with my dog, Joe. He was much more excited about the car ride, which reminded me that I too need to appreciate the journey, not just the destination. I argued with my husband. I know that doesn't sound like a positive, but we argued this particular issue all the way through to a solution. I fixed dinner for my family. It wasn't complicated or fancy, but it was wonderful to eat together at the table.
It is a good start to the new year. I am not stressed by already missing a self imposed deadline. I have no plans to change anyone else, but I am feeling strong about making some little changes to myself!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)